Introducing the greatest deception artists in the history of Western thought. Normally relegated to carnival sideshows, a few religious props make these individuals dangerous.
Zarathustra (or Zoroaster) is an ancient Iranian prophet and the founder of Zoroastrianism, the national religion of the Sassanid Empire of Persia (226-651 CE). A somewhat mythical figure, his existence is estimated to have been between 10000 BCE and 1000 BCE (Before Common Era); he was possibly the first Gnostic to utilize “revealed” scripture (i.e. dream-sequence revelations).
Islamic tradition understands Zoroaster to be the founding prophet of the Magi (star readers). According to Wikipedia, Zoroaster “progressively revealed the Word of God to a gradually maturing humanity.” In essence, Zoroaster laid the foundation for a long list of people to proclaim the expression, “Don’t look at the man behind the curtain…”
Weighing in at 2000 years of convoluted rehashing, John the Baptist is generally credited with the Book of Revelations, the absolute must-read document for those consumed with disaster prophesies. The work was originally titled The Apocalypse of John and was written around 100 CE. There is debate that the book may have had contributions by several individuals, including John the Apostle, John the Evangelist, as well as John of Patmos, but the contribution of these individuals could be limited to just the Gospel of John and the Epistles of John.
Much of today’s prophesies are a rehash of the original Apocalypse of John and the festering data loop feeds upon itself as new revelations look backward and inward in smug self-justification. Time does not create truth, and a dream sequence from 2000 years ago is still a dream sequence today. Whether interpretted by Baptists, Buddhists or bohemians, the bupkis Book is written by just another John.
And finally, the man gifted with 21st century media-bundling-spin-skills 500 years ahead of his time, Michel de Nostredame was born in December of 1503 in the south of France. As a young man, he travelled the countryside creating and selling herbal remedies for ailments such as the plague (visions of Dorothy’s Kansas-based travelling “wizard” come to mind). In 1550 he Latinized his name to Nostradamus and wrote his first of many “almanacs,” which were repeated successfully over a ten year period producing 6,338 prophesies.
Gaining notoriety in the psychic community, he was inspired to create his collection of undated “quatrains” for which he is most (in)famous today. Using a double-speak mixture of several European languages as well as some words of his own creation, his 941 rhyming word puzzles, which he called The Prophesies, became a grand source of entertainment for the rich, noble and scholastically impaired.
Much of Nostradamus’ material is stolen directly from the Book of Revelations, which for some bizarre reason seems to lend credibility to the entire house of cards. Many religions are founded on prophesies derived from the same themes of carnage and disaster. In reality, Nostradamus was a beguiling opportunist that creatively found a way to feed his family.
Bravo for him. Thus spake Zarathustra.
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